new years eve

mine was filled with kirtan, songs you could make love to , sparklers, lying in the grass, running with high knees aiming for no leeches and swinging from ropes into the creek...

<3

jayy: why are you such a whore?

caitlin: cause my last names bell-orr.

jayy: why are such a slut?

caitlin: because you love me so please stop saying this shit.

jayy: why are you such a bitch?

caitlin: why are you so scene?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

jayy: caitlin, if you have more than one octopus it's called an ocupie, right?

caitlin: yes.

jayy: caitlin, does that mean if you had more than one penis it would be peni?

caitlin: no, that would be a cockfest.






we have interesting conversations.

things I miss from my childhood.

Muddy hands, grazed knees, innocence, my fringe, my blonde hair and blue eyes that turned into brown hair and green eyes, hide and seek, thinking everything is huge, selective hearing, tiny toes, not being embarrassed or scared about anything, aliya's old house, my dog, fairy dresses and face paint, strawberry milk, being really close with mum, scruffy, heart shaped hot water bottles, wide eyes, believing everything and knowing nothing, my imagination, thinking things were under my bed and in the wardrobe, corny music, make believe and fairytales, the little world inside my head, the little black fish that went down the hose, being oblivious to the world.

But it's all good, because I still like getting my hands dirty, I fall over alot, I have a fringe again, I play hide and seek, I have selective hearing that ranges from "money" I'm listening, "do your chores" I can't hear you. I still have small hands and feet, I love face paint, strawberry milk, I like my eyes, my imagination runs wild when I daydream, I'm still scared of the dark, and again; imagination land.

So not so much was lost, just different, the world changes. times goes faster when you're older. see, when we're young, we want to be older so we can drink, drive, party, get paid, move out, and all the rest; we are constantly wanting time to speed up. but when we get older, we wish for time to slow down, as we realise that half our life is over, that we didn't do all the things we wanted to do when we were young. I think it's odd.

I miss you

I found a polaroid the other day.

It was from when I was about 3, the first time I went to queensland to visit my dads family. it's of dad, poppy and myself. last time I looked at it pop was alive, not so well, but alive. next time I looked at it, he was gone. I sat there and cried. he died from cancer, a melanoma started it off. I think it's sad that I needed the validation of someone dying to actually see the damage a sun can do, but it's changed me for the better.

I love you poppy, your naughty pictures and words to my nanna on the backs of yahtzee score cards and all. I miss you.

this is my generation

This is my generation baby

Why don't you all f-fade away 
And don't try to dig what we all s-s-say 
I'm not trying to cause a big s-s-sensation 
I'm just talkin' 'bout my g-g-g-generation 

listen to :)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I saw "Nowhere Boy" yesterday afternoon, my last day in melbourne. It's about John Lennon's pre-beatles days. It was really great, a bit sad in places though. But good all 'round. 

My sister-in-law has a blog, ChéandFidel, which I looked at a few days ago and I have a new favorite song. 

There was a girl who talked to geese

She understood them and they her
One day she looked in a crystal stream
And saw in its bed a diamond.
She picked it up and put it in her hair
As she did so she turned into a goose
It was then revealed that the other geese
She magically had understood
That they were once human like her

CocoRosie are so amazing. I really wish for the song Summer Breeze but I can't find it anywhere, and the iTunes store doesn't have it. saddening.

home

I miss my bed

honest to god

it's too hot.
I'm dying.

melbourne

hello dear.

when we landed it was 14 degrees. yesterday we went into the city, today we went to st. kilda and I got a new book and a new CD. I actually bought the cd for the cover art 'cause it was amazing, but I like a fair few of the songs aswell.

perks of being a wallflower.

"I feel infinite" pg. 33

best book quote of my life.

peace, love.

bon voyage?

I'm going on sunday. goodbye coastal town, hello melbourne city. tomorrow night is my families christmas, so presents all 'round. family is coming around for dinner, both my brothers and all that. at least I don't have to wait as long for my diana mini. in melbourne, all I want to do is shop, drink a whole lot of tea, read my books, and take lots of amazing photos. oh, and use the old photobooth at the flinders street station.

peace, love.

PEACE

You are all geniuses, and you are all beautiful. You don't need anyone to tell you who you are. You are what you are. Get out there and get peace, think peace, live peace, and breathe peace, and you'll get it as soon as you like.

One of my favorite quotes, John Lennon was amazing, as were The Beatles. My dad and I share a favorite song - Love. It is so... lovely.

Love is real, real is love, 
Love is feeling, feeling love, 
Love is wanting to be loved. 
Love is touch, touch is love, 
Love is reaching, reaching love, 
Love is asking to be loved. 
Love is you, 
You and me, 
Love is knowing, 
We can be. 
Love is free, free is love, 
Love is living, living love, 
Love is needing to be loved. 

I need new

hair.
help me?

it's christmas soon, message me if you'd like something little and sweet :)

STOP

racism
terrorism
rape
murder
war
poverty
starvation
disease
ethnic cleansing
hatred


START
peace.

to be honest

I jump on my bed alot, it may break one day.
I like screaming when I'm alone
laughing like mad all the time, and sometimes I think I'm a psycho... but you know, you never know.

1. photography; I want to marry the person who invented lomography, and polaroids.
2. meeting new people; the more people you know, the more of the world you know.
3. drinking wine and champagne; oh yes, we all started our alcoholic careers by drinking vodka, but I only drink champaign. and smirnoff, sometimes.
5.art; is like, amazingly super.
6.parties; getting slightly drunk and dancing like mad
7. my music; shit, where would I be without music
8. my clothes; la la love.
9. best friend; leeleeee
10. life; if vampires exist, please come bite me. I really would like to live forever.

don't be running late

are you on time today?

I

just purchased (finally) 126 cartridge film to go with my little Kodak Instamatic. I'm overly excited. Hopefully I can go to some super cool gigs and take some super cool photos.



Yeah, I'm old school, I know.

Sorry about the image size, it was the only photo on photobucket I could find that was remotely close to my little instamatic. That one is the model up from mine, but you get the picture; no pun intended.

notes

- I like the way you say you and me

- That's all I'm worth

- You and me and everyone we know

- You are really drunk, stumbling around the streets. who are you with? probably aliya.

- I'm being stalked by a moonshadow

- Make mulled wine and spiced cookies for our mad hatters tea party. I love you

- Lying in the grass at the haven. aliya is singing me "there's a hole in the bucket, dear eliza, dear eliza". me oh my, love.

- you make the adrenalin go fucked up in my stomach (from aliya's)

- Love for sale

- His idea of a threesome is a neopolitan icecream

- Run for your life!



All from the notes on my phone. weird shit

monsters

run for your life!

nostalgia

for the days when I actually had polaroid film.

30

posts.

wow, it didn't take me long. this site is more addictive than facebook, myspace even.

shit.


you know what I discovered a few days ago? that I have a great-aunt named Merlin. I was like "holy fuck awesome!"

wild cosmia, what have you seen?

"dry rose petals, red round circles
frame your eyes and stain your knuckles"

Joanna Newsom is so utterly amazing, and her style; god.

It's nearly the holidays, I'm so looking forward to 6 weeks of sleep ins, good food - none of that canteen shit - friends, a week in Melbourne, wicked parties and who knows what else. Possibly peace. I'm hopefully heading off to the city on Sunday for a some Christmas shopping. Message me if you'd like something little and sweet.



LOVE

ps. I miss the rain

My mum

isn't she stunning. I was just looking through one of the many photo boxes, and came across this. I wish I looked more like her. apparently we have the same eye shape - very almond. it makes me happy that I have one asset of her in me, that I'm not completely one of my dads family.

Aliya says:
wow, dude
stare at her eyes
they're like... YOURS
me oh my, caitlin I will wade out till my thighs are steeped in burning flowers says:
but brown
thanks dearest :)

LOVE

ps. click for the bigger picture.

post secret

Hardly appropriate, I know, but it's all I could think of to do with numbers and balloons. Anyway, I like it.

LOVE

Bjork's

album "Vespertine" is so amazing. I've been listening to Sun in my Mouth, a bit obsessively. I only just figured that it's an EE Cummings poem. love for Bjork.

"I will wade out
Till my thighs are steeped
In burning flowers
I will take the sun in my mouth
And leap into the ripe air
Alive with closed eyes
To dash against darkness"



I also just figured out that you can click the images for the larger size.
LOVE

I love

spur of the moment picnics.



I know the images are small but it's just so much easier copying a photocode rather than doing all that uploading shit. First day of summer today, although you'd never have known it.

we are the kids your parents warned you about

shits and giggles

Aliya: I miss you
Caitlin: I miss you shitloads
Aliya: dude I miss you
Insanely
MADDENINGLY
So don't try and compete it, jay biznitch?
Caitlin: k
Aliya: good



My best friend. I love her to pieces. Possibly more than any boy I shall ever meet. Yeah.

LOVE

Keen on Boys

"He would never sleep
Said I didn't mind it at all
Made me feel quite cheap
Looking back on it all
Then there was this kiss
He said thet he couldn't resist
And was I aware of what I missed?"

It's from the Marie Antoinette movie, which I just finished watching, again. My mum is one of those people who watches movies once, perhaps twice if she really likes them. It's the same with my dad. But not me, I watch movies continuously, Amélie for example, and I've never gotten sick of it. I like to analise everything in the film; how pretty the lighting is, the songs used. Sometimes I just watch the colours flick across the screen, just movement. That's when the movie is best.

it's

so overly hot

I would like it to rain continuously, like Noah's Ark, but forever. That would be so great.

about the lomography post...

Astrid would like me to say
"that she isn't actually that fat, it's the camera"
which we all already knew, you stick figure.

"you looked nice today"

a little compliment goes a long way

hmm

So I've been watching some Kubrick movies, I wrote a post on The Shining a little while ago and you know that I've noticed? They all have the hallway scene. If you've seen The Shining, it's where Danny sees the Grady twins. Thought I'd let you know.

love

me oh my, caitlin

Frankie & Monster Children.
My favorite magazines. I'm drawn to the lack of gloss, the overall lack of crap. I mean, honestly, who wants to read "Dolly Doctor" it's shit.

Jodi recently gave me a whole heap of her old frankie magazines, I was oh so happy. Even the posters where still there, it was amazing. I really want to buy number 1, so I have them all; but seriously, I'm not forking out $200 for a magazine.

Love

it's

because I like things that don't go away.

you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven. you smell like heaven.

So tell me when you hear my heart

stop

I'm spun out so far

you stop, I start.

It's raining today, makes me happy. I sat in bed reading Frankie and Monster Children, then Romeo and Juliet. I'm tragic, I know. 

"These violet delights have violent ends
And in their triumph die, like fire and powder.
Which, as they kiss, consume."

I've really been getting into lomography lately; with pol

aroids, holgas and instamatic photos. 

1. China Town, this is in a little shop called "Morning Glory". They are called love lollies haha.

2. City lights, sydney of course.

1. This is Jaspers lovely sister Astrid. She owns a holga and I do not, I'm jealous. 

Until next time, love.

follow me

to sydney on sunday
for the gay marriage rights rally.

recommended movies:
- Rachael Getting Married
- How To Be

The funniest thing happened to me the other day;
On msn, stupid josh linked me to a website. I clicked it of course, it was porn, and a girl started moaning at the top of her voice. My computer froze, and on played the various noises and words. Dad happened to be outside at the time, and all I could hear him saying was
"CAITLIN WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU WATCHING?"
"someone linked me I swear"
"TURN IT OFF THEN"
"the computers frozen, dad"

thanks buddy.

love.

and they

"say that they know me
and they know that they know me
but I, I don't think they know me too well"

Yesterday was so hot, ridiculously hot.
I was at a 3rd birthday party, and all the little kids were splashing each other with the hose, it look so inviting. Summer is coming, we can all feel it in the air, but I hate it.

I miss Winter, I really do.

LOVE

ps. you smell like heaven

you smell like heaven

I'm a satellite heart.

"I'm a satellite heart, lost in the dark
I’m spun out so far, you stop, I start ."

I saw New Moon, it was quite good, the ending was a tad abrupt but I suppose that's how the book is. I really liked the soundtrack, that song in particular. I looked everywhere for it, GOOGLE DOES NOT HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. Anyway, I finally found it and I am oh so glad. I'm hopefully recording some songs soon so if anyone knows a good guitar player, send them my way :)

www.myspace.com/cupcake_caitlin

love.

attending

greenday
patrick wolf
joanna newsom
soundwave

I'm rather excited.

world

hold on.

The Shining

Just finished watching it,
that movie is... odd

Goodbye, Mattie!

Going to Aliya's yesterday consisted of:

- many outfits

- making daisy chains

- cute photos

- trying to make Mattie feel awkward (we didn't at all succeed, it's impossible)

- eating apples and peaches

Twas a lovely day.

Mattie is leaving for Japan tomorrow, we've been constantly play Japan by Cocorosie hehe. I hope he has fun and I believe we shall all miss him so.

Goodbye, Mattie!

I have recently

refreshed my favorite song list

werewolf - cocorosie

hard times - patrick wolf
a song for ellie greenwich - the parenthetical girls

I also used the last of my polaroid film, which I am a bit sad about. If I had another $74.95 I;d be running to the shops for more, but I'm supposed to be saving :/

save the planet, eat yourself xxx

love me.

it reminds me of a post secret

but not.
New photo, it could have well been my last polaroid, but I wasn't going to take a chance like that. I think the quality is quite good for an iPhone shot? It's such a lovely dress :)

Today it's raining, and I'm still sick. The weather really can't get any better. My head's in a bit of a cloud right now. One thing I don't overly understand though, is why she is suddenly being so kind? Whatever the reason, I'm grateful, and perhaps one day - any day - she may be the sister I always wished for.

one, new, first.

How my feet want to jump up
Push me high into the sky

I found you

How my heart is beaming like the sun,
and the moon, and the stars beyound.